'This too will pass...........'

……so often we have asked ourselves how long the lockdown will last;  when will things return to normal;  and what the ‘new normal’ will even look like.  Our children are doing the same, even if they aren’t able to voice those questions quite as clearly as we can.  We need to help them share their fears, questions and excitement too, but how? 

For instance, when faced with a death in the family, or something that we, as adults, find shocking or disturbing, we become emotional and often sad.  Children, however, will very often ‘puddle jump’. One moment they seem sad about the passing of a family member and the next, they are able to go and play in their rooms as though nothing has happened.  We need to allow them to do this because it is all part of their emerging coping mechanisms, especially when they are very young. 

At times like this, their questions will often be more practical. In the case of the death of a loved one, ‘where is X right now?’ is not usually a metaphysical question, but more of a practical one (i.e. are they in the ground or are you going to scatter ashes somewhere).  When we are feeling vulnerable and emotional about a bereavement, these questions may be harder to answer, we might even resent their seemingly ‘matter-of-fact’ attitude, but we need to be answering them as honestly as possible.

In the case of ‘lockdown’ and COVID-19, we don’t necessarily have the answers, but that’s okay too, just as long as we explain that to them.  It’s okay to say we are scared, uncertain, or worried about how things will pan out but that we will do all we can to explain the pathway, as and when we have the information.  Our children just need to know we will be there for them and that the normal, ‘everyday’ routines will still be in place - meals, playtime, bedtime stories etc….

Remind them, (and yourselves), often, that ‘this too will pass’ and that, no matter what, you’ll always love them. 

If you have any questions about this or any other of the subjects covered in our Blog posts please don’t hesitate to email us.  Take care and stay safe.

Photo Credit: Dewang Gupta