'It takes a village to raise a child'
‘It takes a village to raise a child’ – This African proverb is one of our favourites and would have rung true with Montessori as much as it does for the Reggio approach too.
As parents, we are often left thinking we’re raising our little ones on our own but, it’s worth remembering that there’s a much bigger group of people around you, who can all help to nurture your child, if you let them.
Montessori talked about this as ‘interdependence’. We like to describe it as a series of circles with the child at the centre. The first circle around the child, is their immediate family, parents, siblings and whoever shares their home. The next circle includes their school, community, village or town. Around this you have their country and the world in which they live. Surrounding all these circles is the planet on which we live. The developing child needs to feel a sense of belonging in all these areas in order to fully thrive and learn to make sense of the world.
How, as parents can we foster that sense of belonging, especially when so many of us live far from our extended families and whilst we live such busy lives?
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Home & Family – do you have time in your weekly routine for family downtime (stories, walks, games) or are you up to your ears in chores? In which case, can your children help you with those chores, in order that you can all share some downtime? By fostering their developing need for independence and purpose you will be helping them develop resilience as well - win, win. Can they get involved in helping with the family tasks? Cleaning up after meals, filling the dryer, chopping fruit or vegetables for a family meal, gardening, writing shopping lists? Being involved like this will give them a sense of purpose, make them feel more independent and they are huge learning opportunities. Who’d have thought a boring old chore could do so much!! It might, at first, mean a bit more time spent helping them to get started, but they’ll soon get the hang of it and ultimately it will mean a bit more time around you, which they love, to say nothing of what a help it could be for you!
Community/village/school – Map out their community, have a chat about what it contains, and which parts are important to you as a family – they could draw their own map, which could be displayed in the home somewhere, as a stimulus for further conversations. Maybe take a walk to the local shop and get them to buy the milk, stamps or some smaller items for the household. Reb’s children remember their Granny doing this with them, counting out the money, writing the list and…….hiding in the bushes when they then set off down the street…..apparently alone! Maybe your child could make (or choose) a birthday card to send to a family member, having first written it, sorted out the money for the stamp and then posted it.
Country/World – Can you help them to celebrate the cultures and traditions in your family as well as learning a bit about other traditions and cultures around the world. We loved having pen pals when we were younger, but whilst there are all sorts of challenges to finding pen pals now, maybe there’s a relative or friend who lives in another country, who could strike up a correspondence with them. Old fashioned letter writers make a great pen pal because it means you get exciting stamps too! Equally, emails can contain photos of the country where the pen pal lives. We now travel far more so your children may well have experienced other countries but, maybe their pen pal could be looking for specific cultural items or photos, that enable your child to expand their knowledge of that particular country. They could ask them questions, what is a typical day? What would be the typical lunch for someone living in that country? What is school like for a child their age?
Save The Planet – and lastly, there’s the planet. Young children are eager to change the wrongs they see around them. Can they set up a recycling routine for the family? Can you get involved in a community clean-up/initiative? Ask them what matters most to them? How can you help them to contribute, in some small way, to making a change? You may well find you’ve got a Greta Thunberg in your midst!
P.S. Doing just ONE of these things will be a start PLEASE don’t try and take on the world all in one go!! AND…….most importantly……HAVE FUN!!!!
Photo credit: Siarhei Plashchynski