Is there such a thing as perfect parenting?

The concept of “perfect parenting” was one which, when we set up The Parent Collaborative, we were determined to try to scorch as an idea, if not eliminate!  Not only is there no such thing as “The Perfect Parent” or “The Perfect Way to Parent” – it is yet one more pressure on parents to try to be, or appear to be, something that they are not – and what’s more – no-one else, is!  How can it possibly be the right thing to heap pressure on ourselves, by striving to be something that is unattainable?

Becoming a parent is without doubt one of the biggest changes that will happen in a person’s life.  It brings with it a rollercoaster of emotion and one that, once we have signed up to, we can’t get off!  Rather than sign up to an ideal that guarantees unhappiness, why not from the start accept that the ride will be a bumpy one but one that we can embrace with all our own imperfections?

Before I had children, I had the privilege to undergo training in the Montessori method of education – this brought with it an immense raft of knowledge and understanding.  The privilege continued as I co-founded a Montessori Nursery and worked with children.  However, no prior experience prepares you fully for the arrival of your own children!  Everyone takes different experiences and knowledge into parenthood – so hold on to what you already know and understand and just as in any other line of work – be prepared to learn on the job!

A parenting journey is one that has no end.  Rather than this being an alarming thought, it can be a wonderful comfort, as it allows us to continually learn and adapt.  Mistakes will be made along the way – lots of them. Both adults and children do some of their best learning from mistakes.  It may be that we feel we cope better with our slightly older children than we do with our babies, or that we surprise ourselves by thriving with our teenagers.  Whatever stage you are at, hold on.  If you are going through tough times – hold tight to the thought that it won’t last – you will get through.  Always look for support and ways to help you and your family thrive – this help and support will look different for each and every one of us.

There is no “one size fits all” way of parenting – despite what all the books tell you!  What your children have in you is the parent they want and need. Grab all the help, knowledge and support you can – from whatever direction it comes from – then jump into this new chapter of your life prepared to do whatever it takes to give your child what you can, in the way you can do it.